Tom Lehrer When You Are Old and Gray

(Introduction, only on live album „Tom Lehrer revisited“, spoken:)
''The most popular type of popular song is of course the love song,
and I'd like to illustrate several subspecies of this form during
the evening.
First of all, the type of love song where the fellow tells the girl
that although the years ahead will almost certainly destroy every
vestige of her already dubious charms, that nonetheless his love
for her will shine on forever through the years, you know. Another
example of stark realism in the popular song.
This particular example is called „When You Are Old And Grey“,
and I'd like to dedicate it to anyone in the audience who is still
in love with each other.''

Since I still appreciate you,
let's find love while we may,
Because I know I'll hate you,
when you are old and grey.

So say you love me here and now,
I'll make the most of that,
Say you love and trust me,
for I know you'll disgust me..
when you're old and getting fat!

An awful debility,
a lessened utility,
A loss of mobility,
is a strong possibility,
In all probability
I'll lose my virility,
and you your fertility
and desirability.
And this liability
of total sterility,
will leed to hostility
and a sense of.. futility.
So let's act with agility
while we still have facility,
for we'll soon reach senility
and lose the ability..

Your teeth will start to go dear,
your waist will start to spread,
In twenty years or so dear,
I'll wish that you were dead.

I'll never love you then at all,
the way I do today,
So please remember
when I leave in December..
I told you so in May.