Tom Lehrer The Old Dope Peddler

(Introduction, only on live album „Tom Lehrer revisited“, spoken:)
''You are no doubt familiar with songs about the old lamplighter
and the old umbrella man and the old garbage collector and all
these lovable old characters who go around spreading sweetness
and light to their respective communities. But, it's always seemed
to me that there is one member of this happy band who does an
equally splendid job, but who has never been properly recognized
in song or story, and this is an attempt to remedy, at least in
part, that deplorable situation.''

When the shades of night are falling,
Comes a fellow ev'ryone knows,
It's the old dope peddler,
Spreading joy wherever he goes.
Ev'ry evening you will find him,
Around our neighborhood.
It's the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good.

He gives the kids free samples,
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele.
Here's a cure for all your troubles,
Here's an end to all distress.
It's the old dope peddler
With his powdered ha-happiness.