Kevin Devine You'll Only End Up Joining Them

Tonight, I'm posed
And popping like a peacock
I'm pressin' flesh, I'm smilin' big
My spinning head sings, "Stop, just stop."

Cause what used to calm me down
Just rips my life to ribbons now
So I keep smilin'
I find my window and quick cut out

These days
My hangman's hunger makes my gut kick
My sleepin' mind, could map it blind
A flask, a key, a bag, a fifth

I try to will myself away
While shouting habits plead their case
So when the sun sears through my eyes
My beggar's brain can't compromise

I splash cold water, I draw the curtains
I stay inside

And I can't say that...it's a sickness
More like a stranger I ask in
And later realize...was a strangler
Slipping nooses in my den

But I was lonely so I asked him
"Could you tie that one on me?"
It wasn't his fault
I was eager and I was weak

So as I inch towards...resolution
Yeah, I'm not sure which life feels right
A narrow noose or...the wading water
The hanging head, sore open eyes

I know my brother, he went one way
And at the fork, I heard him say
"Don't you follow
Don't go makin' my mistakes."

And I realized what he meant
Don't kill yourself to raise the dead
It never works, you'll only end up joining them
It never works, you'll only end up joining them