Jonathan Coulton Mr. Fancy Pants

Chances are your pants are not as fancy as the pair
Of very fancy pants that Mr. Fancy Pants will wear
When everybodyâ??s marching in the fancy pants parade
Heâ??s gonna pass the test
Heâ??s gonna be the best
The best in terms of pants

You look in every catalog you shop at every store
Cause even though you have a hundred pants you want some more
When suddenly you see the greatest pants youâ??ve ever seen
And even though you know
Itâ??s gonna cost a lot of dough
You have to have the worldâ??s best pants

Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants
The whole world knows
Theyâ??re only clothes
And deep inside
Heâ??s sad

They make the big announcement and the trophy goes to you
You thought you had some fancy pants and now you know itâ??s true
You look at Mr. Fancy Pants and hold the trophy high
Everybody cheers
While heâ??s blinking back the tears
He doesnâ??t even have the best pants

Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants
Itâ??s all he had
But donâ??t feel bad
Heâ??d do the same
To you