Alanis Morissette Front Row

I know he’s blood but you can still turn him away you don’t owe him anything

Do you go to the dungeon, to find out how to make peace
with your days in the dungeon
writing a letter to you, didn’t make me feel any more peaceful
than how I felt when we weren’t speaking.
Because I didn’t cope to what I did
I can’t love you ‘cause we’re supposed to have professional boundaries
I’d like you to be schooled and in awe
as though you were kissed by God full on the lips

(I’m too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one one minute I want to banish you the next I want to be on a deserted island with you along with my three favourite cd’s ambivalent yet in your bed we’ve yet to acknowledge what really happened)

I’m in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you, close up

slid into the ditch
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition we said let’s name 30 good reasons
why we shouldn’t be together
I started by saying things like “you smoke”, “you live in New Jersey”
you started saying things like “you belong to the world”
all of which could have been easily refuted
but the conversation was hypothetical I am totally short of breath for you
why can’t you shut your stuff of…

(and I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops you don’t always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot reciprocate in my current state I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together)

I’m in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you, close up

for a while I’m speaking
you know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time alone
fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn’t always have to be about you
I’ve been wanting your undivided attention, I like the fact that you’re nothing like me
are you not burdened by the lack of
perspective people have of your charmed life (seemingly)?

(you never meant to be ungrateful nor held up to be whipped or wept for certainly not analysed prodded at more ways than one apparently you’ve been misrepresented dealing with the concept of arrows being slung towards your outrageous fortune)

I’m in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you, close up

Hey I’m not mad at your guardian
I’m mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your Jackyl and Hydeness
I’m glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
you laughed a wicked laugh and said “come here let me clip your wings!”
I know he’s blood but you can still turn him away you don’t owe him anything
“raise the roof” he yelled “yeah, raise your roof!” I yelled back
(unfortunately you needed a health scare, to reprioritize) no thanks to the soap box.
Having me a rile against them won’t make an ounce of difference…

(oh the tings I’ve done for you many a sitch a friend a man’s been left for you oh the books I’ve read for you the tongues I’ve bitten for you many a new city for you many a risk taken for you) (not a single regret)

I’m in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you, close up