Bill Bailey Leg Of Time

The jester hops on the leg of time,
The scourge of the wizard nation.
Madrigal chanting is no crime,
When you're suckled by a blind Alsatian.

Who stole the leg of time?

Seen through the eyes of Murgar's kestrel.
Where's the tiny mouse? There it is aha ha ha ha ha ha
Ride a white pig to the edge of Lapland.
Why did I do that? Why did I do that? I don't know

Who stole the leg of time?
When time had one leg it couldn't march.
It stopped, it hopped,
Who stole the leg of time?

Was it the wizards? (no)
Was it the goblins?
Was it the elves?
Was it the dwarves? (no)
Was it the kestrels? (no)
Was it the satyrs? (no)
Was it the brain police? (what?)
Was it the man with the key to the door of reality, underneath the mat of insignificance?

Nope
Who was it then?
Was it the terrorists? (no) The pterodactyls? (no)
It was Terry, Terry,
Terry stole the leg of time.

(cockney middle eight)

Oh Terry you slag you nicked the leg of time, give it back before you get a slap.
Oh take it down the dog and duck and leave it behind the bar, or you'll get a slap sunshine.
(Don't give me no rabbit)
Leave it behind the bar
(Get off me sister)
Leave it behind the bar
(Give me half a pound)
Leave it behind the bar.

Who stole the leg of time?
Terry! stole the leg of time
The theft of time's leg was his crime.