Kevin Bloody Wilson Hey Santa Claus

quite often i get to thinkin how as kids we got by
like at christmas time we couldnt even afford a fire
but we made due with what we had then when i was young
dad used to suck a peppermint and we'd sit around his tongue
we couldnt afford no sparkly tinsel for our christmas tree
so wed just wheel our grandad in and make the old cunt sneeze
(wheel him around the other side nana)
thing change pretty bloody quick
ive got kids now of my own
and i heard then unwrap their pressies
last night when i got home


Hey Santa claus you cunt!

Where's me fucking bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.

If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.

And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!

You've stuffed me bloody order up

It's enough to make you spew

And I'm not the only one who's snakey

Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!

Where's me fucking pram?

You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.

'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand

I'll give you fucking ho ho ho

You forgot me fucking pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts

And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!

You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store

And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door

And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes

And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies

He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright

'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.

You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in

Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out

'I saw mummy sucking santa clause'