The Macc Lads Julie the Schooly

Julie was a schooly and she said she came from Stoke
Help her with her homework, she'll let you have a grope
Wears her knickers round her ankles, they're always full of stains
She'll swop a knucle shuffle for a note to get off games
But you can't take her down the pub, she's a bit of a hound
You can't order lemonade when you're buying a round
She leaves the upper fourth at a quarter to four,
She can bind like a whore, she can talk to your pork
And she bangs like a shithouse door when the plague's in town

She said she wanted plating, I dropped down to my knees
I stopped myself from fainting, she smelled of mushy peas
Then I found some carrots and I said that I'd be sick
She said that the last bloke was, and she swallowed half my dick