Canibus 100 Bars
Yeah!!! That's the beat right there.
I'm about to black out with 100 bars on some professional shit.
So don't try this at home, yo.
Yo, yo, yo
My style of rhyming, is ancient like Aztec’s and Mayan’s //
Because I recognize it’s all about timing //
Me and my freestyle alliance, practicing African Voodoo science //
In front of twenty foot bonfires //
Looking skyward, calculating May fifth, two thousand //
The nine planets’ll be in alignment //
The arrival of the prophet, in the cockpit //
Of a star ship the size of the Hale-Bopp comet //
With mercury ion rockets //
And a big ass, ‘Canibus coming soon’ poster on the side of it //
I’m known geographically, and intergalactically //
That’s why I got extraterrestrials that want to battle me //
They even tried kidnapping me //
And they would’ve snatched me, if their craft didn’t get trapped in the Earth’s gravity //
Engines stalled and failed, crashed into a farmer’s field //
And that’s really what caused Roswell //
Undercover operatives working for COM twelve //
Disguised as a nigga signed with a record deal //
Lyrically, I’m off-scale //
So all hail, or get tossed towards Hell, whatever y’all feel //
Bruising niggas, confusing niggas, like Chip Fu from the Fu-Schnickens //
Hit you with nuclear cruiser missiles //
Hear the wild wolf growl //
Styles, stockpiled for miles, from the ground to the clouds //
Wack niggas wanna be down, but it’s not allowed //
Interrupt the cipher unannounced and you’ll get punched in the mouth //
With the Southpaw Southern fist //
I’ll bust your shit, swell your lip bigger than bubba shrimp //
For acting tough as shit, what a wimp //
You giant Goliath niggas get shot with a rubber sling //
I’m an experiment gone bad //
My brainwaves on an encephalograph show that I’m stark raving mad //
Your whole scientific staff’ll get killed in a nuclear blast //
When I throw the Florence flask in my hand //
Flammable liquids in the lab explode and you get stabbed with all the flying glass //
Trained to blow up commercial aircrafts //
Trained in chemical weapons class, just to see how long a nigga’s breath’ll last //
I put him in a leather mask, spray his ass //
With a can of pepper gas, then watch him grab his neck and gag //
Watch the nigga choke to death as I laugh //
‘You wanna battle?’ is the type of question you should never ask //
Nigga, pick a tougher task, see who the fuck’ll last //
Whoever lose’ll get a soldering iron up the ass //
You need to recognize, my hand is quicker than the eye //
Quicker than the five speed Jamiroquai drives //
A lifespan longer than nine lives, infinite rhymes that can’t die //
A nigga with a divine mind //
I dedicate this to the wise, dedicate it to dames //
Dividing myself into a hundred ten times //
You can’t deny the offering’s an offer //
Flows that glow with aurora’s that spark of light //
Water fly like a saucer, with the torque of a Porsche //
Murder a million emcees, then autograph all of their coffins //
Been getting it on, since I been born, and I’ma live long //
And I’ma be getting it on ‘til I’m gone //
Look at all the stages I’ve been on, all the songs that I’ve spit on //
I took an oath to rip everything I get on //
A nigga like me should have carpal tunnel syndrome //
In the wrist bones from gripping microphones this long //
I’m just a small fish in a big pond //
That gets pissed off whenever I get picked on //
Nigga try to flip and get flipped on //
My army march a million strong like the Nation of Islam, with Suede Timbs on //
Extremely hostile, fully armed troops, dressed in frog-suits //
And night vision goggles //
A lyrical lynch mob, shitting on niggas drawn to a hideous form //
With horns, and a mink on //
Ducking down low like Vietnam, fighting the Vietcong //
Screaming, ‘incoming’ when I see a bomb //
Speak to your leader, surrender your arms //
You need about a million more soldiers to even the odds //
Plus eight hundred thousand to even consider a war //
And two hundred thousand more to even look hard //
You better drop your flag and withdraw //
My cavalry charge, accompanied by a blizzard of wicked metaphors //
And smash y’all, attach y’all to the back of my horse //
And drag y’all across the motha fucking asphalt //
Nine out of ten niggas is frauds //
You know who you are, always talking about your bitches and your cars //
Your jewellery and your girls, it’s like we from two different worlds //
You mother fuckers really get on my nerves //
‘Cause I’m beyond them, on some futuristic cyborg shit //
I close my eyes when I freestyle so I could read what prints across them //
Then raise my arms like a sorcerer and cast a fireball into the audience //
To barbecue your brain organs, you feel like you’ve been thrown in a microwave oven //
I flame broil suckers //
And hit ‘em with some more shit, the raw shit //
Call my reinforcements, the four horsemen //
Take a big piece of chalk and, draw a line across the stage pulpit //
I dare a mother fucker to cross it //
I’ll even call my man Black Rob at two in the morning //
Tell him it’s important, tell him to call Sting three-way, and sing a chorus //
Break your camcorders so you motha fuckers can’t record it //
Call the news, I’ll kill your reporters, start a lawsuit, I’ll kill your lawyers //
Fuck the soft shit and fuck what y’all think //
My album’s gold, ‘cause my album was the bomb, shit //
Y’all niggas got your ass beat ‘cause you asked for it //
Got your picture taken and put in a tabloid //
‘Cause you a man and you like to touch little boys //
You fuck ‘em in the ass, then you give ‘em cash for it //
That’s some sick shit homeboy //
A hundred years ago, they’d have took you to see Sigmund Freud //
You fraudulent, feminine, fragile as a feather is //
With an effortless blow, I’ll crack your whole skeleton //
You think you’re better than Canibus, where’s the evidence? //
You got below average intelligence and poor penmanship //
You need to shut the fuck up ‘cause your breath stinks //
Take fifty cents and purchase a pack of peppermints //
Battling me, you’ll never win //
You thought you was the only nigga that could sneak a weapon in? Nigga guess again //
‘Cause after I’m finished wrecking this shit //
I’ma drink a whole bottle of Henney, and go fuck a lesbian //